Pilgrimage of Compassion: Embody Compassion Dance Workshop

Sr. Martha Ann Kirk reported that throughout the day more than 80 people attended the Embody Dance Workshop at the University of the Incarnate Word, part of the peaceCENTER/CompassionNET Pilgrimage of Compassion. Here are a couple of videos taken towards the end of the day. We hope to have some still photos of some of the other dancers available here soon.

San Antonio ACTS HIV/AIDS Ministry performing a dance to "Patchwork Quilt" at the Dance Workshop held March 9, 2013 at the University of the Incarnate Word. Dancers: Robert Alexander Diaz, Denise Ezquerra, Susan Jones, Catherine L. Cuasay, Delia Segura and Maureen Leach. "Patchwork Quilt" is the version by Sweet Honey in the Rock.

Dance lead by Terri Boggess at Embody Compassion Dance Workshop at University of the Incarnate Word, March 9, 2013 to "Ubi Caritas." The chant, sung in Latin, means "Where charity and love are, God is there."

Step #4: Empathy - Have You Filled Your Bucket Today?

This is the book that Karen showed us at the March 7th session of the Karen Armstrong "Twelve Steps to a Compassionate Life" book study at Oblate School of Theology.  From the publisher:

"This best-selling, 32-page picture book has become a basic teaching tool that encourages positive behavior as children see how very easy and rewarding it is to express kindness, appreciation, and love on a daily basis. As the pages turn, children learn the meaning of the terms, bucket filling and bucket dipping and discover that when they fill someone's bucket, they fill their own. This popular book's call to action is: Why not decide to be a bucket filler today and every day?"

Step #2: Empathy -- If a child lives with . . . .

Thanks to Daniel for providing us with this thought-provoking poem:

CHILDREN LEARN WHAT THEY LIVE

Dorothy Law Nolte

If a child lives with criticism,
he learns to condemn.

If a child lives with hostility,
he learns to fight.

If a child lives with fear,
he learns to be apprehensive.

If a child lives with pity,
he learns to feel sorry for himself.

If a child lives with ridicule,
he learns to be shy.

If a child lives with jealousy,
he learns what envy is.

If a child lives with shame,
he learns to feel guilty.

If a child lives with encouragement,
he learns to be confident.

If a child lives with tolerance,
he learns to be patient.

If a child lives with praise,
he learns to be appreciative.

If a child lives with acceptance,
he learns to love.

If a child lives with approval,
he learns to like himself.

If a child lives with recognition,
he learns that it is good to have a goal.

If a child lives with sharing,
he learns about generosity.

If a child lives with honesty and fairness,
he learns what truth and justice are.

If a child lives with security,
he learns to have faith in himself and in those about him.

If a child lives with friendliness,
he learns that the world is a nice place in which to live.

If you live with serenity,
your child will live with peace of mind.

This Saturday, March 9, at Incarnate Word!!!

This is the next stop on the San Antonio Pilgrimage of Compassion:

Saturday, March 9, 9 am to 4 pm. INCARNATING COMPASSION: Dance and Drama to turn our hearts of stone into hearts of flesh. When Jesus wanted to teach service, he dramatized the message taking a towel and washing feet. When Mariam wanted to claim and thank God for freedom from slavery, she led dance with tambourine in hand. Young and old are invited to a day of sharing and learning dance and drama. Come prepared to move. Free and open to the public. Marian Hall Ballroom, University of the Incarnate Word. Organized by Sister Martha Ann Kirk of UIW and featuring other prayer dance leaders from across San Antonio. Part of the peaceCENTER's Pilgramage of Compassion. Join us!  You do not have to stay all day -- come for as long as you can.

Step #4: Empathy -- They Came for Me

In an earlier post we included the mousetrap fable that we used in our study of Karen Armstrobg's book "Twelve Steps to a Compassionate life." That story tells in simple words what German pastor Martin Niemoeller taught us at the end of World War II:

In Germany they came first for the Communists, 

and I didn’t speak up because I wasn’t a Communist. 

Then they came for the Jews, 

and I didn’t speak up because I wasn’t a Jew. 

Then they came for the trade unionists, 

and I didn’t speak up because I wasn’t a trade unionist. 

Then they came for the Catholics, 

and I didn’t speak up because I was a Protestant. 

Then they came for me, 

and by that time no one was left to speak up.  

Martin Niemoeller, German Lutheran Pastor

Step#4: Empathy -- The Moustrap

In session #4 (7 March) of our "Twelve Steps to a Compassionate Life" book study being held at Oblate School of Theology we will be closing with this story, the mousetrap fable:

The Mousetrap

A mouse looked through the crack in the wall
to see the farmer and his wife open a package.

What food might this contain?” The mouse wondered -
he was devastated to discover it was a mousetrap.

Retreating to the farmyard, the mouse proclaimed the warning.
There is a mousetrap in the house! There is a mousetrap in the house!”

The chicken clucked and scratched, raised her head and said,
“Mr. Mouse, I can tell this is a grave concern to you, but it is of no
consequence to me. I cannot be bothered by it.”

The mouse turned to the pig and told him,
“There is a mousetrap in the house! There is a mousetrap in the house!”

The pig sympathized, but said, “I am so very sorry, Mr. Mouse, but there is nothing I can do
about it but pray. Be assured you are in my prayers.”

The mouse turned to the cow and said
“There is a mousetrap in the house! There is a mousetrap in the house!”

The cow said, “Wow, Mr. Mouse. I’m sorry for you,
but it’s no skin off my nose.”

So, the mouse returned to the house, head down and dejected,
to face the farmer’s mousetrap alone.

That very night a sound was heard throughout the house —
like the sound of a mousetrap catching its prey. The farmer’s wife rushed to see what was
caught. In the darkness, she did not see it was a venomous snake whose tail the trap had
caught. The snake bit the farmer’s wife. The farmer rushed her to the hospital, and she returned
home with a fever.

Everyone knows you treat a fever with fresh chicken soup,
so the farmer took his hatchet to the farmyard for the soup’s main ingredient.

But his wife’s sickness continued, so friends and neighbors came to sit with her around the
clock. To feed them, the farmer butchered the pig.

The farmer’s wife did not get well; she died.
So many people came for her funeral; the farmer had the cow slaughtered
to provide enough meat for all of them.

The mouse looked upon it all from his crack in the wall with great sadness.

Step #4: Empathy -- Barak Obama on "The Empathy Deficit"

"There’s a lot of talk in this country about the federal deficit. But I think we should talk more about our empathy deficit — the ability to put ourselves in someone else’s shoes; to see the world through those who are different from us — the child who’s hungry, the laid-off steelworker, the immigrant woman cleaning your dorm room.

"As you go on in life, cultivating this quality of empathy will become harder, not easier. There’s no community service requirement in the real world; no one forcing you to care. You’ll be free to live in neighborhoods with people who are exactly like yourself, and send your kids to the same schools, and narrow your concerns to what’s going on in your own little circle.

"Not only that — we live in a culture that discourages empathy. A culture that too often tells us our principal goal in life is to be rich, thin, young, famous, safe, and entertained. A culture where those in power too often encourage these selfish impulses.

"They will tell you that the Americans who sleep in the streets and beg for food got there because they’re all lazy or weak of spirit. That the inner-city children who are trapped in dilapidated schools can’t learn and won’t learn and so we should just give up on them entirely.  That the innocent people being slaughtered and expelled from their homes half a world away are somebody else’s problem to take care of.

"I hope you don’t listen to this. I hope you choose to broaden, and not contract, your ambit of concern. Not because you have an obligation to those who are less fortunate, although you do have that obligation. Not because you have a debt to all of those who helped you get to where you are, although you do have that debt.

"It’s because you have an obligation to yourself. Because our individual salvation depends on collective salvation. And because it’s only when you hitch your wagon to something larger than yourself that you will realize your true potential — and become full-grown."

From a commencement speech at Northwestern University, 2006
http://www.northwestern.edu/observer/issues/2006/06/22/obama.html

Step #3: Compassion for Self -- Kindness, Naomi Shihab Nye

In the third step of our book study of Karen Armstrong's "Twelve Steps to a Compassionate Life" (28 February) we considered compassion to one's self, and Rosalyn closed the session with this poem by San Antonio poet Naomi Shihab Nye.

Kindness

Before you know what kindness really is
you must lose things,
feel the future dissolve in a moment
like salt in a weakened broth.
What you held in your hand,
what you counted and carefully saved,
all this must go so you know
how desolate the landscape can be
between the regions of kindness.
How you ride and ride
thinking the bus will never stop,
the passengers eating maize and chicken
will stare out the window forever.

Before you learn the tender gravity of kindness,
you must travel where the Indian in a white poncho
lies dead by the side of the road.
You must see how this could be you,
how he too was someone
who journeyed through the night with plans
and the simple breath that kept him alive.

Before you know kindness as the deepest thing inside,
you must know sorrow as the other deepest thing. 
You must wake up with sorrow.
You must speak to it till your voice
catches the thread of all sorrows
and you see the size of the cloth.

Then it is only kindness that makes sense anymore,
only kindness that ties your shoes
and sends you out into the day to mail letters and
     purchase bread,
only kindness that raises its head
from the crowd of the world to say
it is I you have been looking for,
and then goes with you every where
like a shadow or a friend.

Naomi Shihab Nye
from The Words Under the Words: Selected Poems

A Compassion Mindfulness practice: CDEFGHIJKL

Dr. James R. Doty, Clinical Professor of Neurosurgery at Stanford University shares a morning mindfulness practice he does to be a more compassionate person. Every morning, he says, he goes through the acronym 'CDEFGHIJKL' to remind himself to be mindful. Compassion|Dignity|Equanimity|Forgiveness|Gratitude|Humility|Integrity|Justice|Kindness|Love

Step #4: Empathy -- Jeremy Rifkin Talk

In session four of the book study of Karen Armstrong's "Twelve Steps to a Compassionate Life" that we hare facilitating at Oblate School of Theology (March 7) we will be discussing EMPATHY. This illustrated talk by Jeremy Rifkin explains some of the neuroscience:

The Golden Rule in Practice - in El Paso

Sportsmanship Gives Texas High Schooler Shot At Glory
A heart-warming story of the Golden Rule put into practice.

 

Step #3: Compassion for Self - Three-In-One Brain

During our book discussion on February 28th of Step #3 -- compassion for self -- Karen will talk about the "Three-In-One Brain," also called the triune brain. For those of you of a scientific bent, here is a short video explaining the concept:

 

And here's another one:

Step #3: Compassion for Self - Compassion Fatigue resources

At the third session of the book study of Karen Armstrong's "Twelve Steps to a Compassionate Life" that we are facilitating at Oblate School of Theology we will be discussing compassion for self (February 28th.)

As we have been traveling throughout the city one question that always seems to arise is about compassion fatigue. What is it? There are actually two definitions:

(1) Compassion fatigue is defined in the popular media as a feeling of being overwhelmed, helpless and numbed by media stories of tragedy. A New York Times article explains:

 "Fatigue often results “when you’re seeing the same problems repeatedly, when they’re chronic, and when the outcomes are not good,” said Bret A. Moore, a former Army psychologist and co-author of “Wheels Down: Adjusting to Life After Deployment.” “One sign that you’re there is that you start hoping your appointments cancel.”

"The public has a similar reaction to mass joblessness and starving countries alike: the problems sap the imagination in part simply because they are daunting and have not responded well to previous efforts. We have already pumped billions into each, with little visible effect. If only they would cancel their next emergency. " (read the whole article here.)

(2) In the academic literature, compassion fatigue is a synonym for vicarious trauma and is experienced by those in helping/caregiver positions. Kirsti A. Dyer MD, defines it as:

    "A state experienced by those helping people in distress; it is an extreme state of tension and preoccupation with the suffering of those being helped to the degree that it is traumatizing for the helper; a deep physical, emotional and spiritual exhaustion accompanied by acute emotional pain."

Here is a handout, in PDF format, that is used by Haven for Hope. It includes an assessment quiz, definitions, a list of symptoms and recommendations for action. 

 

Step #2: The Circle of Compassion

In step #2 of the book study of Karen Armstrong's "Twelve Steps to a Compassionate Life" we discussed our circle of compassion. This TED talk (18 minutes) by Buddhist monk Robert Thurman gives a seven part meditation to help grow our circle of compassion.

Step #3: Love Yourself

What does loving yourself have to do with compassion? Isn't self-love self-centered and the opposite of compassion for others? The Golden Rule says, "Treat others as you would like to be treated yourself."  When we learn how it feels to treat ourselves with compassion we have a model to use when we interact with others.

Psychologist Heidi Grant Halvorson defines self-compassion:

"Self-compassion is a willingness to look at your own mistakes and shortcomings with kindness and understanding—it's embracing the fact that to err is indeed human. When you are self-compassionate in the face of difficulty, you neither judge yourself harshly, nor feel the need to defensively focus on all your awesome qualities to protect your ego. It's not surprising that self-compassion leads, as many studies show, to higher levels of personal well-being, optimism and happiness, and to less anxiety and depression.

"But what about performance? Self-compassion may feel good, but aren't the people who are harder on themselves, who are driven to always be the best, the ones who are ultimately more likely to succeed?

To answer that, it's important to understand what self-compassion is not. While the spirit of self-compassion is to some degree captured in expressions like "give yourself a break" and "cut yourself some slack," it is decidedly not the same thing as taking yourself off the hook or lowering the bar. You can be self-compassionate while still accepting responsibility for your performance. And you can be self-compassionate while striving for the most challenging goals—the difference lies not in where you want to end up, but in how you think about the ups and downs of your journey. As a matter of fact, if you are self-compassionate, new research suggests you are more likely to actually arrive at your destination."  (read her whole article)

Step #3: Compassion for yourself - The Mayonnaise Jar and Two Cups of Coffee

Here is an timely story that has been making the rounds:

A professor stood before his philosophy class and had some items in front of him. When the class began, he wordlessly picked up a very large and empty mayonnaise jar and proceeded to fill it with golf balls. He then asked the students if the jar was full. They agreed that it was.

The professor then picked up a box of pebbles and poured them into the jar. He shook the jar lightly. The pebbles rolled into the open areas between the golf balls. He then asked the students again if the jar was full.  They agreed it was.

The professor next picked up a box of sand and poured it into the jar. Of course, the sand filled up everything else. He asked once more if the jar was full. The students responded with an unanimous "yes."

The professor then produced two cups of coffee from under the table and poured the entire contents into the jar effectively filling the empty space between the sand. The students laughed.

"Now," said the professor as the laughter subsided, "I want you to recognize that this jar represents your life. The golf balls are the important things--your family, your children, your health, your friends and your favorite passions--and if everything else was lost and only they remained, your life would still be full.

The pebbles are the other things that matter like your job, your house and your car.

The sand is everything else--the small stuff. "If you put the sand into the jar first," he continued, "there is no room for the pebbles or the golf balls. The same goes for life. If you spend all your time and energy on the small stuff you will never have room for the things that are important to you.

"Pay attention to the things that are critical to your happiness. Play with your children. Take time to get medical checkups. Take your  spouse out to dinner. Play another 18. There will always be time to clean the house and fix the disposal. Take care of the golf balls first--the things that really matter. Set your priorities. The rest is just sand."

One of the students raised her hand and inquired what the coffee represented. The professor smiled. "I'm glad you asked.

It just goes to show you that no matter how full your life may seem, there's always room for a couple of cups of coffee with a friend."

Step #1: Hillel & Shammai

In step #1, Karen ended the session with a story about Hillel and Shammai.
If you missed it (or want reminding) here is a video from Shalom Sesame. 

And this is a lovely depiction of the story in words and an image of the story by chassidic artist Shoshannah Brombacher:

One of famous account in the Talmud (Shabbat 31a) tells about a gentile who wanted to convert to Judaism. This happened not infrequently, and this individual stated that he would accept Judaism only if a rabbi would teach him the entire Torah while he, the prospective convert, stood on one foot. First he went to Shammai, who, insulted by this ridiculous request, threw him out of the house. The man did not give up and went to Hillel. This gentle sage accepted the challenge, and said:

    "What is hateful to you, do not do to your neighbor. That is the whole Torah; the rest is the explanation of this--go and study it!"

Step #3: Compassion for Self - Rumi

Step #3: Compassion for Self - glass of water

In our weekly book study at Oblate School of Theology of Karen Armstrong's "Twelve Steps to a Compassionate Life" we will be discussing Compassion to One's Self" during the third step, on 28 February.

This story resonates with that theme:

A psychologist walked around a room while teaching stress management to an audience. As she raised a glass of water, everyone expected they’d be asked the “half empty or half full” question. Instead, with a smile on her face, she inquired: “How heavy is this glass of water?”

Answers called out ranged from 8 oz. to 20 oz.

She replied, “The absolute weight doesn’t matter. It depends on how long I hold it. If I hold it for a minute, it’s not a problem. If I hold it for an hour, I’ll have an ache in my arm. If I hold it for a day, my arm will feel numb and paralyzed. In each case, the weight of the glass doesn’t change, but the longer I hold it, the heavier it becomes.” She continued, “The stresses and worries in life are like that glass of water. Think about them for a while and nothing happens. Think about them a bit longer and they begin to hurt. And if you think about them all day long, you will feel paralyzed – incapable of doing anything.”

It’s important to remember to let go of your stresses. As early in the evening as you can, put all your burdens down. Don’t carry them through the evening and into the night. Remember to put the glass down!
www.rawforbeauty.com

Step #2: The Myth of Redemptive Violence VIDEO

 

As promised, a video of Rosalyn Falcon Collier of the San Antonio peaceCENTER explaining the Myth of Redemptive Violence, Oblate School of Theology, 21 February, 2013.